IMPACT: Parenting with Perspective

Be the Change LIVE Parent Training

August 05, 2021 Ben Pugh Episode 60
IMPACT: Parenting with Perspective
Be the Change LIVE Parent Training
Show Notes

YOU Have the Power to BE the Change

Most parents, in fact, most human beings, go around blaming others for things that they want to change. 

They position themselves as the victim in life and in the stories they tell themselves. 

You have the power to create change, when you are willing to be the change you are looking for. When you stop trying to change others, you change YOU!

3 Reasons Why Being the Change Is SO Powerful

#1 You Become the Hero!

When you commit to BEing the change, you become the hero of your own life. You become the hero in your mind and in the stories that you tell yourself. 

#2 You Focus On ONLY What You CAN Control!

BEing the change shifts your focus from all of the many, many, things outside of your control to the very few things that you can actually control. 

#3 You Become a Powerful Example!

BEing the change, positions you as an example. By BEing the change, you model the way of BEing and behaving that you would like others to adopt. 

BEing the Change & Inside-Out vs Outside-In

OUTSIDE-IN

Most people try to change things outside of themselves hoping it will change something within themselves. They focus on things outside of themselves and outside of their control, like getting their teen to change or get better grades or have a better attitude, thinking this will change something inside of themselves, like how they think, feel, and/or act.  

One of my clients recently realized that when she tries to change things from the outside in, she goes into “Control Freak Mode.” Her words, not mine. 

When you focus on things outside of your control, you position yourself as the victim in your life and in the stories you tell about yourself. This makes you dependent upon others changing so you can be happy.

INSIDE-OUT

This means changing things on the inside of you, trusting it will change things on the outside. 

To do this, you have to let go of your desired results and trust that changing YOU is enough. Your desired results might be for your teen to get better grades, stop looking at porn, or to be kinder to others. You cannot control those outcomes, but you can control how you think about it, feel about it, and act in response. 

When you focus on the few things within your control, for example, how you think, how you feel, and how you act, you gain power over those things. 

When you change from the inside out, you will start to see that things outside of your control begin to change as they are impacted by YOUR internal change. 

Powerful Questions Facilitate Change

The quality of the questions you are willing to ask yourself will determine the quality of your results. Ask yourself quality questions every day!

Most people are unwilling to ask and/or answer quality questions, and when they are confronted with powerful questions, most people give the easy a

Take the free Parent Trap quiz

If you have a teen you should take this Parent Trap Quiz .

It will help you uncover specific parenting patterns that might be hindering your relationship with your teen.
By identifying your Parent Trap, you gain the tools to have better communication, resolve conflicts, and build greater confidence in your parenting decisions.
This self-awareness ultimately strengthens your relationship with your teen, which leads to a more open and harmonious connection.

This quiz is your gateway to becoming the parent of your dreams and paving the way for a happier and healthier family life.

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