IMPACT: Parenting with Perspective

How to Regain Parental Control

November 25, 2021 Ben Pugh Episode 76
IMPACT: Parenting with Perspective
How to Regain Parental Control
Show Notes

"I Feel Like I'm Losing Control!" 

One of the things that I hear the most from parents is, . . . 

. . . "I feel like I'm losing control!"

The next thing they tell me is, . . .

. . . "I don't know what to do!"

If you're like most parents, you've probably experienced this before and felt completely out of control and lost as to what to do about it. 

If you're like most parents, this probably leads to fighting, arguing, and power struggling with your teen, and it's NO FUN AT ALL! 

One of the hardest things about raising a teenager is realizing that you can't control what you used to control. 

And to be honest, this is a hard transition for your teen too. 

The Problem Is You're Trying To Control What You Can't Control

Trying to control things outside of your control is one of the biggest mistakes parents make.

The biggest problem with this is that it that your focus is on things outside of your control, positioning you as the victim.

When you focus on things outside of your control, you lose focus of the things that you actually can control. 

If you've ever said, . . . "I feel like I'm losing control!" . . . 

. . . It's because you are trying to control things that are outside of your control. 

When you try to control things outside of your control you feel out of control and lost, which is why you're probably thinking, "I don't know what to do!"

What You Can and Cannot Control 

One of the most basic and yet powerful exercises that I have parents do is to create a T-Chart identifying what they Can and Cannot control. 

Once you identify the things outside of your control, you can LET THEM GO!

Once you let go of things outside of your control, you can now re-focus that energy on things within your control. 

Here are some examples of things you CANNOT control:

  • Your teenager,
  • Their thoughts, feelings, actions, and results,
  • Their choices with friends,
  • Their friends,

 Here are some examples of things you CAN control: 

  • YOU,
  • Some of your thoughts and feelings,
  • Your actions and results
  • Your choices,

When you can discern between what you CAN and CANNOT control you will have more power to let go of things outside of your control. 

How To Regain Control 

The only way to regain control is to let go of things outside of your control and control ONLY what is within your control. 

This is freaking POWERFUL!

How to Control Only What You Can Control!

  1. Gain Awareness! What CAN you and what CAN'T you control?

2. Practice letting go of what you CANNOT control!

3. Give what you CAN control your energy and attention!

4. Trust that others are DOING THEIR BEST!

5. Trust that YOU are DOING YOUR BEST!

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