IMPACT: Parenting with Perspective

Horror Stories About Grades

October 28, 2021 Ben Pugh Episode 72
IMPACT: Parenting with Perspective
Horror Stories About Grades
Show Notes

Grades Aren't As Important As We've Been Taught

When I was getting close to graduating high school, I was told that I wouldn't be able to go to college due to my poor high school GPA (2.0 something) and my poor ACT score (17).

For years leading up to my graduation, I was told that I would have to improve my grades if I ever wanted a job other than digging ditches or some other type of manual labor. 

For years I was told horror stories about people who had so much potential, but poor grades in school completely derailed and ruined their lives. 

This is an example of herd mentality. 

Teachers and school counselors believe that good grades are the key to success. 

So of course, they are going to share this belief with their students. 

For a long time, I worked manual labor jobs because I believed I was doomed to that life because of my high school grades. 

Your Teen Is the Key to Their Success, Not Their Grades!

I believe this with all my heart!

I am an example of this. I barely graduated high school. I thought of dropping out. My grades were not great. 

And yet, I am successful. 

I became a phenomenal teacher. My students loved me!

I got my bachelor's degree and graduated Summa Cum Laude. That means I did pretty darn good in college. 

I became a high school principal at a failing charter school on the Ute Indian Reservation, (without a master's degree I might add).

Within a few short years we had turned the school around. 

My high school grades are definitely not the key to my success, I AM!

The same is true for your teen.

Grades, friends, a starting role on their high school football team, none of these are the key to their success. 

THEY ARE THE KEY TO THEIR SUCCESS!

Values and Grades

It's 100% okay to value grades. It's also 100% okay to NOT value grades.

If you're like most parents who talk to me about their teen's grades, you value grades more than your teenager does. 

Maybe you expect your teen to get nothing lower than a B, but they have several F's. 

If you're like most parents, this difference in you and your teen's expectations and values is causing some friction in your relationship with them.

If you're like most parents, this results in yelling, arguing, fighting, and often grounding. 

What if, grades aren't as important as you've been taught?

What if your teen's grades are actually a reflection of their values, not yours?

What if your teen has different values than you?

Your Relationship With Your Teen

At the end of the day, I promise you, your relationship with your teen is far more important than their grades. 

I get it!

You still believe that grades are important. 

You want your teen to get good grades. 

Of these two relationships, which one will benefit your teen the most in 1 year, 5 years, 20 years, and so on?

Why is your teen so important to you?

Why are their grades so important to you?

I want to invite you to connect with your teen, RIGHT WHERE THEY ARE!

Regardless of what their grades look like, they will benefit from having a parent who can connect with them no matter what. 

Once you build this connection, you will better understand why they have they grades that they do. You'll be able to determine whether their grades are a result of not being high on their priority list or the result of some serious struggles. 

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