Hi Ben! I’m a mom stuck in the victim mentality with attachment issues and want my teen to orbit around my model. I’m so flustered, I could light a school bus on fire!!! (With no children present, obviously.) How do I get myself together??

Your podcast is EXTREMELY helpful. I've not found another that helps with the serious issues that arise with teens. So, please , keep being real. I love that you are accepting real questions from parents and sharing them with all of us.

cont. It is easy to say that is not in your control. But the natural consequences is too great. If they lived on their own ( which is not an option yet ) I wouldn't worry about it and let them figure it out. It's because it is in my face and in my home that it is so taxing. They really have grand plans and dreams, but the depression/ anxiety etc is still pretty crippling and they need more time drug free and with a routine to get in the mindset to take charge of their life. Am I just justifying trying to control. I really just wish they'd take care of themselves so we can just be supportive.

I thought I'd really learned & implemented the T chart of control. After listening to this last podcast, I can see I have more work to do. Too much energy is going into my 18 yr old. I feel like I can let natural consequences happen, but then I catastrophize and still intervene. I justify it because the decision my adult child makes still affects me because they live at home. ex: I don't wake them for work & they get fired, loose the privilege of the car ( because they don't have $ for gas/ insurance), go into a deep depression, and possibly start using drugs again. That is what happens in my brain everyday when I know they should be leaving for work. This has been the cycle and it is too much to deal with again so I try to stop it from happening. The longer they can go with a steady job and no drugs they better it is for everyone.

appreciate your podcast today I really need guidance & direction in this area Thank you

Hi Ben. Just listening to your podcast and wanted to send you a message. I typed up a short novel, but accidentally deleted it. So, I'll just skip all the back info for now and just give you my question. Two things invaluable things I've learned from you. You can only control yourself ( such a basic concept, but you exercise to write down what you ACTUALLY have control over was mind blowing), and that my son and I do not have the same values. We have literally been to hell and back with my son. He is now 18, " clean", and not suicidal. HUGE, right? You can imagine all the heartache and learning that has happened over the last three years. How do I support your "adult" 🥴🫠teen who lives at home , that is doing things that go against my values. Ex: Tattoos, face piercings, sleeping at girlfriends house, smoking etc. I still have a minor child in the home that might be confused by what brother is doing and parents are still supporting and trying to be happy and pleasant with. My son came home with another tattoo, after we told him he wouldn't be able to drive the car if he didn't have the money ($250) to pay the deductible when the car came out of the shop, from a car accident. He used the money on the tattoo. Now I have to enforce my side which will cause conflict and make me look like I'm the issue for not " helping him out until he gets paid again ". We still walk on eggshells a bit because we have been in such a dark place with him, and want to see him continue to make healthy choices. That was kinda all over the place. Final thoug

Hi Ben! We are really struggling. My husband says he hates being a parent more than anything and he would never do this again. My daughter made some pretty bad choices and he says it has ruined him and he’ll never be the same again. Since she made those bad choices it’s like all the relationships in our family have gone downhill. I’m feeling hopeless! Please help us!! I’d love this to be an episode but can you also let me know the best way to work with you to help my husband?

Hey Ben. Thanks for all you do!!