IMPACT: Parenting with Perspective

Your Teen's Model

January 06, 2022 Ben Pugh Episode 82
IMPACT: Parenting with Perspective
Your Teen's Model
Show Notes

Don't Try To Force The Model On Your Teen

One of the most powerful tools that I teach is the Self-Coaching Model! 

When I teach it to parents they love it and say it makes total sense.

Usually when I teach it to teens the model they love it.

But, I've noticed a trend with teens whose parents are coaches or who have coaches. 

Oftentimes, these teens tell me, "I hate the model!" 

Every time this has happened, it's because their parents have tried to force the model on them or tried to get them to change their model somehow.

I totally get it. 

I love the model. It's so powerful. 

I want all teens to know, understand, and use this tool, ESPECIALLY my teen.

I love parents teaching the model! I love parents talking their teens through the model. 

My warning is this . . . 

. . . Don't try to force the model on your teen. 

. . . Don't try to change your teen with the model.

If you do, they are likely to hate it.

So, How Can You Help Your Teen Learn The Model?

One of the most powerful ways that you can help your teen learn the model is by managing your own model. 

Another way is by realizing that you only change the circumstance of your teen's model. 

The biggest thing is, manage your model and let your teen manage theirs. 

Be Open To Your Teen's Thoughts 

One of the things that I teach people to help them use the model is to do thought downloads.

One of the biggest mistakes that I see parents making is parents try to change their teen's thoughts by telling them, "Don't think like that," or "Don't talk like that."

When I teach people to do thought downloads, I tell them it's important to be aware of ALL of your thoughts. 

When your teen is complaining to you or venting to you, or just telling you what they are worried about, see this as them doing a thought download with you. You are their paper, and they are just pouring out their thoughts to you. 

Validate Their Feelings

Emotional Health is the ability to feel any and ALL emotions and to identify and process them. 

Far too many parents try to manage their teen's emotions. 

This is actually the opposite of emotional health as it is encouraging the teens to only feel certain emotions and to avoid identifying and processing the feeling. 

Give Them Autonomy to Take Action

It's hard to see your teen do things that you completely disagree with. I totally get it. I'm a human and a parent too. It's hard, but you CAN'T control your teen. It's not your job

Trust and Let Them Own Their Results

One of the things I see parents doing is blaming themselves for their teen's results. This takes power away from your teen. If you want to give power back to your teen, respect their results. Let them own it.

Another problem that I see is parents catastrophizing about their teen's results, believing the their results are "wrong" o

Take the free Parent Trap quiz

If you have a teen you should take this Parent Trap Quiz .

It will help you uncover specific parenting patterns that might be hindering your relationship with your teen.
By identifying your Parent Trap, you gain the tools to have better communication, resolve conflicts, and build greater confidence in your parenting decisions.
This self-awareness ultimately strengthens your relationship with your teen, which leads to a more open and harmonious connection.

This quiz is your gateway to becoming the parent of your dreams and paving the way for a happier and healthier family life.

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