You are the Secret Ingredient

In this empowering episode, Ben challenges the widespread belief that there's a magical, external solution to parenting struggles. Discover why you already possess the wisdom and strength to be the parent your teen needs.

Learn about:

• The societal conditioning that leads parents to seek external solutions
• Why relying on "experts" can sometimes undermine your parental instincts
• The power of recognizing yourself as the hero in your parenting journey
• Real-life examples of parents tapping into their inner wisdom
• Strategies for trusting your parenting instincts and decision-making
• How to access and utilize your unique "parenting superpowers"

Ben shares a touching anecdote about a mom who thought she was hearing his advice, when in reality, she was accessing her own inner wisdom. He offers insights on how to recognize and trust your innate parenting abilities.

If you're tired of feeling dependent on external advice and ready to embrace your role as the true expert in your teen's life, this episode is a must-listen. Tune in to learn how to become the hero of your own parenting story and tap into the superpowers you've had all along.

Full show notes at benpughcoaching.com/226

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By identifying your Parent Trap, you gain the tools to have better communication, resolve conflicts, and build greater confidence in your parenting decisions.
This self-awareness ultimately strengthens your relationship with your teen, which leads to a more open and harmonious connection.

This quiz is your gateway to becoming the parent of your dreams and paving the way for a happier and healthier family life.

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Transcript

Speaker: 0:00

I'm Ben Pugh, and you're listening to Impact Parenting with Perspective, episode 226. This podcast is all about helping parents manage the mental and emotional drama that comes with parenting teens. So they can focus on what's most important, building rock solid relationships and having a powerful impact on their team's life. Join me each week as I dive into real tools to help you and your team turn struggles into strengths.

ben_1_10-02-2024_100833: 0:38

Hey, welcome back to the podcast. Thank you for being here today. We are going to talk about the secret ingredient to parenting teens. So make sure you listen to this whole episode. This is a really good one. This is one that I feel like I wish I would have known earlier and I wish more parents knew the secret ingredient to parenting teens, because it makes parenting teens so much easier when you know. This one thing. So before we dive into the secret ingredient, I want to let you guys know, I am going to be taking down the parent trap quiz soon. I don't know how soon, but I do know it is soon because I'm working on a brand new free thing to help you. This is going to be awesome, but until then, you have a few more weeks to go take the parent trap quiz if you haven't yet done this and the awesome thing about the parent trap quiz, I've identified three parent traps. There's the controlling parent trap, the doormat parent trap, and the lost and confused parent trap, and a lot of parents. Thanks. Have told me the men when they understood what trap they were getting stuck in It was that much easier to get out of that parent trap So if you haven't yet done the parent trap quiz It'll take you three minutes or less and go check it out before it's gone It'll help you start being the parent of your dreams. So let's go ahead and let's talk about the secret ingredient to parenting teams. Now, the reason I'm doing this is that I believe that there are a lot of parents who are looking for something or someone to come and save them. And if you are just hoping that like a doctor will prescribe the right medication or maybe that your friends will have the answer or whatever it is, you're looking for someone outside of you to save you. And a lot of parents do this. And if you're like them, you might be looking for that special secret missing ingredient that if you just had that one thing, or you just knew that one thing, it would be so much easier to parent your team. And a lot of parents, they believe that it's like an answer through school or through the doctor or through their church or through their community. And they're hoping that this outside source will. Help them fix their parenting or help them fix their teen or help them change their relationship But I want to invite you to stop looking for something or someone to come and save you because the truth is You are the secret ingredient I'm gonna re say that because it's really important you my friend are the secret ingredient when it comes to parenting Your team now, I want you to understand something we have been Unconditioned To be disempowered. We have been conditioned to look for answers outside of ourselves. If you think about it, it actually makes sense that parents would think that there's a secret outside of themselves. Because in today's world, we're constantly told that there's just the one missing ingredient. Do this one secret little trick and it'll make parenting your teen easier. And the thing is. In the world of like social media, infomercials, a self help, which guys, I love self help. I love advertising. It's all good. But in the world that we live in, a lot of experts and gurus are promoting this idea that you are missing something and that you need to go to them to get the thing that you are missing. And I believe that this is like bigger than just like self help and society. Right. This exists when we have health issues. We're encouraged to go see a doctor. Ah, the doctor will know what's going on. The doctor will have a pill that he can prescribe and it'll help you. Or the doctor will be able to identify this. I'm not saying that, no, we should never go to doctors. But I am saying that, For a lot of things, we know what we need to do in our own lives to improve our health, and we don't need to wait for someone else to tell us, Oh, hey, you should exercise more. You should eat healthier food. We can come to that on our own. For financial issues, we're taught to go see the bank, to ask for permission, to borrow some money and to be able to do certain things in school. Our students are taught, like you have to ask the teacher, you have to ask for permission. You have to get a hall pass before you can go to the bathroom. We've been conditioned to be disempowered and to look for permission or to look for possible fixes from outside of ourselves. So, I want to just highlight the foundation of what I believe, and the belief is that you are actually the secret ingredient to parenting your teen. And I want you to just tap in to your inner wisdom that will help prove this true. I want you to think about like the stories of like Star Wars. With Luke Skywalker, or maybe you're a Harry Potter fan. Like I am. I love Harry Potter. Or maybe you've seen Poe in Kung Fu Panda when he learned that he was the secret ingredient. We secretly love a good story of the hero overcoming all of these obstacles. He goes out looking for all this external help and yet finding that the hero himself or herself is actually the secret ingredient. We love it when Luke realizes, Oh my goodness, I have the power to wield the force. When Harry Potter understands, dang, it's me. I'm the one who's going to have to defeat Lord Voldemort. So I want you to just. Realize and internalize you are the secret ingredient when it comes to raising your team. Now, the truth is, if you're anything like me or most parents, you've been taught to rely on others and to look for external validation. Fortunately, there is a way better way. You don't have to wait for someone outside of yourself to come save you or to validate what you're doing or tell you, no, you're good enough. You're doing it right because you are the secret ingredient. You can trust that you have the answers that you need. Inside of you, you have the discernment and the power to do what you're meant to do as a parent, to be you. Recently, a mom told me that she always hears me in her head. And she said that. Man, in tough parenting moments, I hear you in my head and you always give me the best advice ever. Here's the secret. That's not me in her head. I don't have the power to connect with her telepathically and put my thoughts into her mind. That's not me. That is her and her own inner wisdom coming to the surface to offer insight, to offer support. The thing is, she's still looking for External validation and external help. So her inner wisdom has actually masked itself to sound like me so that she will listen. But the truth is, she is the secret ingredient to her parenting. She has the wisdom to know what to do in tough parenting situations. And the same is true for you. You are the secret ingredient in your parenting. Practice trusting yourself. Inside my membership, I have a training specifically designed to help you tap into your own inner wisdom. It's helped lots of parents just like you to start tapping into their parenting superpowers. I want to invite you to start tapping into your inner wisdom. This is actually something that I'm working on in my own life. I'm listening to little whispers from my own inner wisdom, helping guide me through the day. The other day I was driving by an older gentleman who was Trying to figure out how to put a desk in the bed of his truck. And honestly, I probably could have done it all by myself, but as I was driving by, I got the distinct impression that I needed to stop and help that guy. So I stopped, we threw the thing in the back of his truck. He was so grateful. He's like, man, thank you for stopping. Most people would have just driven by. This is how simple it is to start tapping into your inner wisdom. Start listening. Start acting on the guidance that you're giving yourself, and that will help you really solidify your role as the hero of your story. So, I want to ask you a question. Do you want to be the hero of your story? Do you want to fully embrace your power? As the secret ingredient to parenting your teenager. I promise you can do that. Do you want to keep looking for some secret ingredient outside of yourself that you just keep your fingers crossed and you hope that it will fix all of your problems? Or do you want to embrace yourself as the secret, as the superpower that you've been looking for all along? Do you want to keep hoping that there'll be some mysterious answer that will come save you and that will change everything? Or do you want to simply be the one that comes to your own rescue? Do you want to be the one that taps into your inner wisdom that feels like, you know what, I could let go of control over these things. And that would help me connect with my team. The truth is you have the power to receive Wisdom, guidance in how to be the parent of your dreams. Like I said earlier, guys, there's never been a better time to go take the Parent Trap Quiz. It's free. It's easy. It will take you three minutes or less. And the best part is, it will completely help you change your parenting. Now here's the truth. You don't need to take my Parent Trap Quiz. You're a fantastic parent already, but if you do want to learn like, Oh my goodness, this is what I've been doing. This is why I keep falling into this trap. Here's how I can get out. Go to Ben pew coaching. com slash parent trap quiz and go take the quiz today. Like I said, it'll take you three minutes or less. It's easy. It's free. And the best part is it will help you completely change the relationship that you have with your team. I'll talk to you soon.