From Phillies Karen to Parenting Power: The Lesson Everyone Missed

What does a viral “Phillies Karen” baseball moment have to do with your parenting? More than you think.

In this episode, I break down the Phillies Karen story—not to pile on or cancel—but to show you how outrage, mob mentality, and cancel culture are distractions that rob you of real parenting power.

You’ll learn:

• Why cancel culture is contagious (and so is compassion)
• How herd mentality creeps into your parenting without you realizing
• What the Phillies dad’s choice actually teaches us about conflict, love, and character
• Simple questions you can ask yourself to rise above outrage and parent with confidence

This isn’t about judging strangers online—it’s about reflecting inward and becoming the parent your teen needs most.

👉 Parenting gets easier (and more fun) when you stop trying to fix others and start focusing on who you want to be.

Are You Caught in the Parent Trap?

Discover the hidden patterns that are keeping you stuck—and how to break free.

Take this quick (and eye-opening) quiz to uncover which common parenting trap you’re falling into with your teen.
Get a personalized roadmap to help you parent with more clarity, confidence, and connection—starting today.

https://benpughcoaching.com/parenttrapquiz

Transcript

Ben: 0:00

I'm Ben Pugh and you're listening to IMPACT! Parenting with Perspective. This podcast is all about helping parents manage the mental and emotional drama that comes with parenting teens so they can focus on what's most important. Building rock solid relationships and having a powerful impact on their teen's life. Join me each week as I dive into real tools to help you and your teen turn struggles into strengths.

ben_1_09-10-2025_114443: 0:32

Hello. Welcome back to the podcast. Thank you for being here, and thank you for being on this journey to grow and develop as a parent. That is one of the things that I think really sets. Parents apart these days, like there's parents who are actively, intentionally trying to be the best that they can be, and unfortunately there are a lot of parents who are in survival mode and. They are doing the best that they can, but they're not parenting with intention. They're not being the type of parent that they want to be. So if you are here, that probably means that you are trying to be the best parent that you can be. And I just want to thank you for being on this journey with me, and I want to commend you for being the best parent that you can be. So today I actually. A little excited about this topic and also a little nervous about this topic. I don't usually jump on the bandwagon and talk about. Viral events or things that have gotten super popular. And I just, I keep on seeing the same thing over and over. And so I'm gonna talk about it, but I want to do it in a different way. Um, I am going to talk about. The Phillies, Karen, but I want you to understand, I am not going to be doing this to judge her, berate her, let belittle her, label her, or like I've even heard people like belittle the father and be like, well, why are you giving away your manhood like that? Now I just want to. Come give you a different story, and I want to introduce this concept like, should we be addressing these type of viral things with compassion or with a desire to cancel? And one of the things that I notice is that we live in a time where we want to cancel everyone that we don't agree with or anyone who does something. Bad that gets caught on TV and I want to give you an alternative so that, I don't know, hopefully it will make you a little happier. Hopefully it'll make your life a little bit easier. So let's go ahead. Let's talk about, first, let me just share this story with you. Just so you know. I am not. Like well versed in this story. I saw the picture where there's this or the video where there's this home run hit this dad scrambles over, like not even close to where they're sitting and a bunch of people are kind of trying to get to this ball, and this dad comes up with the ball, runs over to his seat, gives it to his son, puts his arms around his son, and then this woman comes over. Everyone's calling her the. Phillies Karen, which I'm like, guys, do we really need to name call? Anyway, she comes over, demands the ball, and the husband decides to give this ball away. Now, the crazy thing is I have seen people condemn him. For giving the ball away. I've seen people say, oh yeah, you just give your manhood away just like that. I have seen people condemn her like, we're on this witch hunt. Like who knows who she is? We gotta get her fired. We gotta get a run outta town. And the internet and social media seems to say like, look, she deserves to be shamed and we all just need to hate on her and beat her up. I want to share an alternative perspective rather than shaming her and blowing up her life and ruining her life, we can look at this circumstance or this situation and we can ask, what on earth does this have to do with me? What can this teach me? Or what can this tell me about me? So we're going to get into that. First, I wanna lay some foundation for some of the things that we're going to talk about. These are some things that I talk about all the time. The first one is the herd mentality. If you've been following me for a while, you have heard me talk about the herd mentality and I talk about the herd mentality as if like it's just a natural human tendency to get into the herd mentality and to really think. In terms of the herd and to really try and, I don't know, try and make yourself a part of the herd by thinking similarly to the herd. So I want you to realize in this scenario, I. We are getting into herd mentality, and this herd mentality is actually spiraling into more of a mob mentality. We have this natural human tendency to be a part of the herd. Well, the herd is upset, and the only reason the whole herd is upset is because social media is like, Hey, let's show this to the herd. This is going to make them upset Now. That has devolved into this mob mentality where people are looking at her as if she's the enemy and we're eager to punish her. Like we want to burn her at the stake no matter what's going on in her life, no matter even if we get the right woman or the wrong woman. Like I've seen people, I saw a post where one lady's like, man, everybody thinks that's me. That's not me. I just happen to have the same hairstyle. So. We have this herd mentality that has devolved into a mob mentality and what's going on is no different from good old fashioned schoolyard bullying. It's where a person or lots of persons in case try to manipulate and control another person to try and get them to change. Or to do something through shame generally. And so like we're trying to get this woman to apologize and to return the ball and to justify herself and who knows what else. And the thing that I want to ask is what good does it do you personally, to be so fixated on this? And how she handled it, or this father and how he handled it. And I want you to just explore where can you see examples of bullying, which how I define it is you are bullying someone if you are trying to manipulate their model, how they think, how they feel, how they behave, the results that they get, and where have you seen examples of bullying in your life either now? In your past, maybe online, maybe in person. And when you start to see this, you're going to be a little bit more aware, like, oh, this happens all the time. Like it happens in politics, it happens in religion, it happens in sports even. And once you become aware, you can opt out of the mob mentality and. The bullying behavior that we're engaging in. So while like a lot of the focus is on this woman, which let me just add for a minute, like calling her the Philly Karen, like I have an aunt named Karen. I'm sympathetic towards Karen's and Brad's, like, why do we have to turn a name into a negative label? And why do we all buy into this negative label and start using it like it's a form of bullying. We're name calling to try and put other people down and impact them mentally or emotionally or behaviorally. And I want to invite you, and I want to join this invitation like I can. Be better. Let's not engage in the mob mentality and let's help elevate our herd by committing not to bully. Okay, the next thing I wanna talk about, while most of the focus is on this woman, I do want to talk about this dad that we saw. Um, as I watched the video, a few things really stick out to me. Like the effort to run over there and fight off people and get this ball, that's a valiant effort. That's awesome. For whatever reason, he really valued this baseball and getting it to his son. Um, I have heard that maybe the player that hit the home run that was the son's favorite player. I heard maybe it was the son's birthday. Like super cool. Awesome. Now the thing is like the dad went through all this effort, went and got the ball, gives it to his son. Next thing he puts his arms around his son, like you can just look at him and see how much he loves his kid. That is awesome. And then this woman comes up and confronts him. And this dad is faced with conflict. And like my, my favorite part is his reaction, like what he does with his hands. Like, well, what are you doing? Like you're in my face. We can see how much he loves his son, how proud he is of his own parenting. Like, gosh darn it, I love my son, I just got him the ball. This is awesome. And then we see the confusion set him like, wow, this woman's yelling at me. What do I do? And you see the conflict and he makes a choice. You know what? Fine, he takes the ball out of his son's glove, gives it to her. He's like, see ya. I, first of all, I want to neutralize. The dad and how he handled it, like it's not good. It's not bad. It's just how he chose to handle it in the moment. I also wanna neutralize how the woman handled the moment. It's not good, it's not bad, it just is how she chose to handle it in the moment It was right for her. The way this dad handled things was right for him. The goal is to be able to. Observe this not as a participant, like whether the woman takes the ball or whether or not the dad gives the ball away, or no matter what happens, you're not physically a part of that. You are an observer. What happens doesn't actually affect you. So now you get to look at this neutral. Circumstance the way it played out, and you get to explore what does this mean for me? What can I appreciate here? What can I learn here? I love the confidence with which the dad parented his son. I loved. The love that he showed his son, like putting his arms around him. I loved that he was willing to give the ball away. I kind of hoped that I would be willing to do that in a similar circumstance. Now, that's not to say that what the dad did was good. That's just to say that I am looking at this circumstance and I'm pulling out like, Hey, what can I learn from this? How can I apply this to me? How can I help? Myself, myself, be the man that I want to be through this experience. And the thing that I want you to understand this, like what happened to that dad? This is parenting. It happens in real time. We don't get a do over. We don't get to go back in time and fix things. And this dad like, yeah, he chose to give up the ball, which I'm okay with. I saw some other. I don't know, social media personalities, just trying to crucify him for giving away his manhood, not being a good example. And I'm sitting here thinking, man, the dad didn't give his son the ball, like he lost the ball. But what a powerful lesson in character. What an example of being who you want to be. Being kind, and one of the things that I believe this is true, I believe afterwards the dad's like, Hey, look, we don't need to cancel her. We don't need to publicly shame her. Like, don't fuel that fire. I don't know exactly what he said, but I'm on board with him. Like, let's not hate this person that has nothing to do with us for doing something that has no impact in our lives. Instead, let's shift the focus from her. To ourselves. So if you are watching this and you're getting all upset, like, I can't believe this, Phillies, Karen did this, ask yourself, how does it even apply to me instead of dissecting this woman that you'll probably never meet that probably didn't even know she's being recorded. Like, can you just imagine how much her life has been blown up in the past week? Instead of getting sucked into all of this distraction, turn that focus inward and start exploring some reflective questions like, man, if I were the father in that case, how would I want to handle that situation? Like what example would I want to give my son? If I were the son in that situation, like what can I learn from the father? How would I want to handle that if I were the son? Look at the woman. If I were that woman, how would I want to handle that experience? Let's just imagine you handled it the exact same way you went over, you demanded the ball. Social media is blowing up your life. How would you want to handle that? Like would you wanna apologize? Would you like, I would imagine she's having to hide, like the reach of social media is just mind boggling. I'm sure it's affected her livelihood. I'm sure it's affected her work. Like look at it from her shoes. If that was you, how would you want to handle this? One of the questions I asked is like, man, if I were her friend, how would I respond? I would hope that I could be there and be like, Hey, hey, it's just a ball. Like let's not make a big deal. Or maybe if she really wants a ball and she goes and like rips it away from this family rather than hating her, I can still be kind and caring. The main thing I want you to understand, like. These viral things aren't gonna go away, and the truth is you are being shown these viral things to impact you mentally and emotionally and behaviorally. Don't let this just impact you with no thought, with no intentionality on your part. The lesson here is that. We can't change this woman, we can't change the father, we can't change the circumstance. But there are lessons here for you to inform you not to change her. Like there's no lessons here for her. Like sure, in her own life she can learn lessons. That's great. What are the lessons that you can take away from this to help you be the parent of your dreams? So. Let's look at this from a bigger picture. All right. Cancel. Culture is contagious, but so is compassion. It's close to Halloween, like we're in September now. I saw a video recently, oh, it was actually a really good advertisement about a table. Anyways, it. It was one of those funny ads that it kind of sucks you in and you're watching it and they're trying to burn this witch at the stake. Like, do we want to be the type of culture that goes on a witch hunt and burns people at the stake? And then afterwards we look back and we realize, oh, they were more human than we were giving them credit for. They are more deserving of compassion than we were giving them credit for in the moment. One of my favorite books, one of the books that I recommend the most to parents is Leadership and Self-Deception. If you hate this woman, this Phillies, Karen, you're in the box towards her. And if you're in the box towards her, I guarantee you, you're in the box towards other people and do the work to get out of the box so that you can be the parent that you want to be. So the bigger picture, like cancel culture, it's contagious. It's easy to get sucked into the excitement and the friend frenzy of the witch hunt of this mob mentality. But catch yourself and be intentional and ask like, what's more appropriate here to cancel or to have compassion? As a parent, you have a choice. You are raising your teenager and you're doing the best job that you can. You gotta ask yourself, do I want to join this mob or do I want to rise above it? I personally love how this dad handled it. In the moment, he is like, oh geez, you're in my face. I don't want a scene. I just wanna be rid of you. It's not worth fighting this battle. Here you go. Here's a ball. And from what I understand, the family was really well rewarded. Like the son got a bat. He got to meet his favorite player, they hit the home run. There's an opportunity in this moment for you to grow. Same with me. I'm working to grow here. This moment is an invitation for you to grow, for you to model grace and compassion for you to better understand the big picture, the grand neutrality of everything. This isn't good. It's not bad. It just is what it is. Let's neutralize it so we can learn from it. Man, you know what? If I'm ever in that situation, I don't want to be the type of person that goes and demands a ball from someone else. I want to rise above that. And you know what? Darn it, if I'm ever a father in that situation, I hope I can follow that dad's example. From start to finish. I love the effort, the hustle. I'm a football coach. I love the hustle. He went and grabbed that ball. That's awesome. I loved how he gave it to his son, wrapped his arms around him. You could see the love. I want to be that loving. And then when faced with this conflict, he chose to take the higher road. I hope I would do that. So this moment is an invitation. For self-reflection and self-responsibility, and in a world that just gets hooked on outrage and they don't even think about their own personal responsibility or the personal options, like what choices would I have there? Who could I be? They just join the mob. Join the witch hunt. They're angry and mad, so I want to invite you. This is an opportunity to really question the situation and reframe it from something awful to something powerful. And impactful in your life. And I want to challenge you, hey, when the internet tells you how to think, like we could do a whole show on this. Um, and this is hard, like I get it. Like I sometimes tell you guys how you should think. I try not to. I don't ever want to tell you how you should think. I don't wanna be responsible for how you think. I want to help you think for yourselves. And there's a conservative influencer who's like this dad just handed away his manhood. He, he is telling people how to think, telling people how to judge this woman, how to judge his father. When someone's trying to tell you how to think, that's just another form of bullying. That's another form of manipulation, and I want to invite you to think for yourself, ask reflective and empowering questions. The quality of your reality is dependent upon the quality of the questions that you're willing to ask yourself. Rather than being like, man, what is wrong with that, Karen? No. Ask yourself, how would I handle that situation? What can I learn from that? This is an opportunity for reflection and growth. And we can see from that father's example like just how powerful being who you want to be is. Yeah, there's social media people that hate on him. There's also a lot that are like, dang, I'm proud of how he handled it. This is an opportunity and I want to challenge you. Think for yourself. Ask empowering questions. Don't just get sucked into the witch hunt. I promise you parenting gets easier and you have more impact on your teen when you stop trying to fix others or when you fixate on the distractions, like if you stop trying to. Fix others. If you stop fixing fixating on the distractions, you will have more power and more energy and more clarity to be the parent that you want to be. And that's when parenting gets easy, and that's when you have a powerful impact on your teen. Guys. I know I've said this before, um, exciting things are coming not only in the world, but in. The parenting space, I will be here football, we're about a third of the way through. I am working on something special so that when football is over, I can give this more of my attention and a lot of things that you've been asking me for, we'll be coming back. The ability to come get group coaching to ask me anything. A lot of the awesome things are coming back. Stay tuned and in the meantime, use these viral moments as powerful teachers for you. I'll talk to you soon. bye.